hospitality |ˌhäspiˈtalitē| the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

It has been said that great service can save bad food, but that great food can not save bad service. Recollections of Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi aside, I find that this adage of the hospitality industry to be both true and almost altogether dismissed by the industry itself. This is an industry that creates an elite of those that will spend a fortune to get a noteworthy designer to create ambience, stock 50 kinds of premium vodka behind the bar, and source its pig from farms down the street, yet it seems to take the most perfunctory and dismissive attitude towards the service it provides.

I’ve had the very good fortune to have been treated to some lovely dinners at some of New England’s finest restaurants lately (mainly in celebration of having edged one step closer to 30). A few weeks ago, PT treated me to a lovely meal at one of Boston’s finest restaurants, on a Monday night, no less (side note: there is nothing more decadent feeling than splurging for a great meal on an off-night). The food, ambience, and wine were fantastic. What was not-so-fantastic was the waiter asking 5 times if he could clear my plate; one time, I had just bit down on my fork, and had to swallow the food before I could answer – an obvious indication that I was not done – and several other times, he came back less than 5 minutes after he had previously asked. He apologized towards the end, noting our obvious frustration with having to tell him once again that I had not finished, but the damage had been done.

A couple of weeks later, PT was officially taking me out for my birthday (yes, I’m a lucky girl) to one of Maine’s most lauded restaurants. I was so excited for this meal, and had worked in a few extra miles at the gym that week, just so that I would be good and hungry for this meal. Everything about this restaurant was perfection – the bleached oak floors, the butter and biscuits were heavenly, rich, and certainly not the type to be dismissed as fare to merely hold you over until the real food came, they were a special treat all unto themselves. Our server was, at first, no where to be found, and then suddenly, would not leave us alone. She whisked our plates of food onto the table and was back to take them away before we had even begun; she interrupted obviously engaged conversation, and, like the other waiter, tried to clear my plate several times before I was done. I think I spoke to her more than I did to PT, and that was, rest assured, not by choice.

Why would you rush this???

The piece de resistance was this past weekend when my friends took me out for dinner. There was a slightly catastrophic incident that ended with dry cleaning bills for two of my friends, thanks to a careless waiter, but, apart from that, I was astounded at how rushed to finish our food we were – and, as the aforementioned indicates, I’ve had quite a bit of experience with rushing lately. They were trying to clear plates that had food still on them when my friends were still holding their flatware and getting ready to dig in again. They placed dishes incorrectly and send over a 16 year old to act like a sommelier. It was infuriating.

I simply cannot understand this rush to clear everyone in and out, particularly because, in all three of these instances, the table was not going to be seated again. Perhaps the servers have someone they need to be, and our enjoyment of the meal takes a backseat to their late-night plans. Oh, one other memorable occasion from a couple years ago was when a server asked my date and I if we could finish up because she had some where she needed to be. The restaurant was still buzzing with activity, and it was one of the premier sushi restaurants in Boston. My jaw dropped to the table, and I refused to eat in the dining room of that restaurant again).

So, I’ve decided that I’m going in search of the best service in Boston (and any other city that I may be lucky enough to visit). While I don’t plan on slumming it in McDonald’s for this experiment, anything from pub food to fine dining will be included in my search, and I will report on the findings. However, in the spirit of trying to keep things positive, there will be no mention of any offenders, only places where the service is above reproach, as outlined below, will be noted:

1. I want food and/or drink in my hand within 5 minutes of entering the restaurant. I show up hungry and want that situation to be remedied.

2. I’d like my server to be pleasant and friendly, but obsequious fawning is unnecessary

3. We will let you know when we’ve made our selection by placing the menu on the side of the table. We have no met up our minds if we our talking animatedly while holding it.

4. Please, PLEASE allow a few minutes in between bringing the courses. I want a few minutes to digest, so bringing the entree while the staff clears the appetizer plates is too rushed.

5. This is a big one, so please pay attention – if there is food in my mouth, a fork in my hand, or less than 10 minutes has passed since you just served the food, I’M NOT DONE YET!! I’m somewhat familiar with restaurant etiquette and will place my napkin on my plate or push the plate away from me to indicate that I’ve finished. Most notably, I won’t actually still be eating, chewing on food, when you ask.

I’m looking forward to seeking out and finding the best service that Boston has to offer!